On the way back from the pub, some drunk guy just knocked me in the head.
I'd say he punched me, but it was more like knocking on a door than punching someone, it wasn't exactly forceful or accurate.
And you know what? I didn't even consider retaliation. He started it, so pretty much anything I did would've classed as self defence (and he was so drunk he'd probably gone down with a push), but I didn't even think to lay a finger on him.

Damn, I'm good.